According to unconfirmed reports, all but one of a group of six men currently drinking together in a pub in central London have responded to an invitation to look at the arse on that.
The incident began about 20 minutes ago in the White Horse on Glasshouse Street, according to independent witnesses, when Craig Winters, a 29-year-old scaffolder, made a gesture of inclining his head slightly to the left and inviting his companions to look at the arse on that.
Of the group, Jon Woods and ‘Fat Steve’ Bloomer immediately complied with the request and signalled their appreciation, in the former case by exhaling in an exaggerated way and in the latter case by alluding to a desire to park his bike in that.
‘There was a risk that full group arse-looking would not be achieved, because Chris Holloway distracted the others by telling Fat Steve that he would probably have broken his bike long before being able to park it in that or anywhere else, as he is such a fat c*@t,’ said barman, Andy Swale.
‘Fortunately, Chris himself rescued the situation by glancing surreptitiously at the arse on that and murmuring ‘Seen worse’, while Ronnie ‘Badgershagger’ Boyce – no, me neither – whose view of that had been blocked, moved just far enough to see it.’
At press time, only Brian Cattlin had been unable to look at the arse on that because he was reluctantly getting his round in, the tight-fisted bellend. ‘That’ has been identified as marketing assistant Jessica Thomas, 24, who, like the vast majority of women, has an arse. She is believed to be unaware of the group’s interest in it and unlikely to be much concerned if she had been.