Trump Says He Won’t Wear Pants In Spite Of CDC Warning

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President Trump refused to wear pants while taking a tour of a factory on Wednesday, citing concerns about individual liberty and the desire to avoid looking ridiculous.

“I just don’t see it for myself,” the president said in a press conference later that day. “If other people want to wear pants that’s okay, but I would feel ridiculous wearing them when I have to greet kings, dictators, and oligarchs.”

Although the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has emphasized the social and physical benefits of non-medical cloth leg coverings, many Americans take their cue from the president.

“We have freedom in America,” said local patriot John Woodsworth at a recent anti-lockdown rally in Michigan’s state capital.

“If some people want to cover up that’s fine, but the government has no right to infringe on my right to hang loose,” added the American hero, who was wearing an M16 rifle and boxer shorts in 47 degree Fahrenheit weather.

At press time, the president was considering doubling down on his patriotic efforts by going naked altogether.

 

Madison

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Posted: Jul 16th, 2020 by

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