To commute, or not to commute?

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To commute, or not to commute, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler on the train to suffer
The hacks and hawks of outrageous coughing,
Or to take hankie against a sea of phlegm
And by flapping, deflect it. To succumb- to mask,
Ever more; and by masking up to with relief end
The frowns and the thousand accusatory stares
That unmasked face is subject to: ’tis an approbation
To be shared on Facebook. To snooze on the 7:44, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to snore- ay, there’s mortification:
For in that sleep of commuting what drool may come,
When we have shuffled along this crowded platform,
Must give us hives- ah, there’s the replacement bus service
That makes calamity of so futile an expedition.
For who would bear the crush and germs of rush-hour,
The timetable’s wrong, the ticket office’s snub,
The mind the gap, the door’s delay,
The un-distancing of the office, and the self-control
That patient reloading of the Zoom call takes,
When who themselves might risk to mute it
For a sweary tirade? Who would Tescos bear,
To grunt and sweat under bagfuls of shopping,
But that the dread of something akin to Leicester,
The locked-down city, into whose centre
No workers go, stifles the grumbles,
And makes us rather bear those idiots we have
Than vote in others that lie and soundbite less?
Thus Twitter does make hypocrites of us all,
And thus the native character of stiff upper lip
Is papered o’er with the alluring opiate of furlough,
And healthcare workers of great sacrifice and dedication
With wicked disregard their cabinet ministers turn away
And forfeit any respect and integrity.

Bonnet-tip and apologies to Shakespeare

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2020 by

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