The world lurching from crisis to crisis since 2016 has been explained.
Well known deity, Mr A. God, explained that on Friday 13 May 2016, he’d accidentally said “Macbeth”. Whilst trying to cross his fingers to compensate, he’d dropped a salt cellar on to a black cat, which jumped onto the mantelpiece, knocking over a mirror.
“What can I say? I’m not normally superstitious”, said an apparently irony free God. “But I have to admit, it’s gone rather badly. If I’d known what was going to happen, I would never have popped Chris Grayling into public life – that was supposed to be a bit of a laugh. But, no-one’s ever said I was all-knowing.”