In a landmark step towards controlling the spread of the coronavirus, a small number of people have managed to put a piece of cloth or paper in front of their face without fucking this up in some way. [read...]
The Government have launched 50,000 vouchers to ensure that all redundant fitness equipment is kept in a spotless condition, for the day you decide to take it to the dump. Further funding will be available to clean other unused items in your shed, [read...]
It is 72 hours since project manager Andrew Marshall emptied the dishwasher without being asked. Hope is fading for any kind of recognition or sexual reward. Experts refer to the ‘golden hour’, after which a domestic good deed is increasingly likely to be lost forever. [read...]
In a surprising development it emerged today that former Transport Secretary and chocolate fire guard enthusiast Chris Grayling was responsible for the recent Twitter hack in which the accounts of several high profile figures were taken over and used to extort bitcoins. [read...]
