Climate emergency declared after Greta Thunberg’s freezer breaks down

greta-thunberg

Swedish teenager and environmentalist, Greta Thunberg, has singlehandedly brought the planet to the brink of climate disaster.

After typing a long, angry letter to President Trump on her old manual typewriter, berating him for not doing anything about climate change, she took a break. Not finding anything in the fridge apart from a mouldy Elk sandwich, she went to the freezer for a frozen pizza and was shocked to find a puddle of water on the floor.

Her father, Olaf, said she is in a completely distraught.

‘I’ve been telling her for months to have someone look at it. The freezer is over ten years old and its been making strange rattling noises for some time. We calculate its Co2 output is 175 kg a year, and by breaking down, it  has singlehandedly tipped the planet into all-out climate disaster.

Within weeks we will see Polar bears floating past the house, sea levels rising by 15 feet, and every home in the Northern hemisphere will have to adopt a stray penguin. Still, it’s not all bad news. While she was mopping up, I took the opportunity to retype her letter, replacing the words ‘utter prick’ with ‘Mr President.’

 

Hat tip Filthy Rich

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Posted: Jul 31st, 2020 by

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