Due to cutbacks, NASA’s next scheduled mission to Mars will involve strapping an over-weight English Mastiff to a rocket and hoping for the best. The dog in question, ‘Fat Larry’, is said to be excited about being let off the leash but is unaware that Mars has decidedly few lampposts to smell.
Weighing in at a hefty 350 lbs, there have been challenges with finding enough propulsion for Larry; but NASA finally hit upon the solution of just throwing a stick into space and waiting for Larry to chase it.
The Rover Mission will focus on trying to find life on Mars and, failing that, digging around for any big bones to chew on. Previous attempts to send a pet to Mars have faltered when the cat they sent ignored all instructions and just wandered off to Neptune in a huff.
Dogs, of course, were the first animal sent to space – although it is initially thought they were only sent to fetch some slippers. The subsequent Lunar Rover, was just a Dachshund, named ‘Trevor’, who was out hunting for cheese.
A Mars day is roughly the equivalent to an Earth one, which means Larry can expect to have just as many walks but fewer opportunities to chase squirrels. There are still questions as to whether drinkable water exists on Mars, but Larry is confident he will be fine, once he finds the toilet bowl.