Health Secretary Matt Hancock has said the rules surrounding eating a burger while simultaneously riding a bicycle will be relaxed as from the start of next week. Currently there are strict guidelines governing how cyclists should engage while riding a bicycle on UK highways. Rule 66 clearly states that both hands should be kept on the handlebars at all times unless signalling or changing gear. As from Monday the Rule 66 will be changed to include the eating of burgers, sausage rolls and other snack based convenience foods.
Mr.Hancock said the initiative will help those who want to take advantage of the Govt ‘eat out’ voucher scheme but also have one eye on keeping fit…..’we would not be against cyclists swapping those energy drink bottles for a can of Stella either…..just until we can get the economy back on its feet’. However, some critics argue that the ‘fast fast food’ scheme will simply encourage some people to swap their bicycle repair vouchers for kebab vouchers. The Health Secretary said the scheme will only apply to those who intend eating while actually cycling…and NOT to take-away food in general.
‘That would just be stupid and make a mockery of our eating-out-while-keeping-fit plans’ said Mr.Hancock
‘We are just following the science…..it’s incredibly important that cyclists stay alert, control the virus and help save the NHS.
‘No…hold on…that was last week.
‘I think it’s …keep your distance, wash your hands, think of others….. no, we tried that one before.
‘What if we said ….stay ay home, protect the NHS, save lives…..
‘No that didn’t work either.
‘I’ve got it…how about we say… “fuck it, who cares anymore, just go for it”
‘Yes…..I think that might resonate with most people now’.