Bank robbers have complained that nobody is taking them seriously since all other customers have started wearing masks too, due to the amount of people making jokes about robbing the place.
With the coronavirus pandemic driving an economic crisis more and more people are facing financial difficulties and becoming increasingly desperate, which has led to a huge rise in attempted bank robberies. However, almost all of those robberies have been unsuccessful as bank staff assume that it’s a joke.
“I lost my job months ago and am struggling to support my family so decided to rob a bank.” said one would-be-criminal, who didn’t want to be named for fairly obvious reasons.
“So I put my mask on, walked up to the counter and said ‘I’m here to rob the joint. Put the money in the bag.’. The lady behind the counter just wearily rolled her eyes, gave a kind of half laugh and asked me how she could help.”
“I pulled out the gun that I’d taken with me and reiterated that she should put the money in the bag. She complimented me on bringing a prop, told me to put my card in the reader and enter my PIN.”
Embarrassed by the reaction the man withdrew £500 in cash so as not to leave empty handed. A move almost certain to incur hefty overdraft charges.
One bank robber in Manchester has managed to get people to accept he is not joking and is currently barricaded in a Halifax branch with a number of hostages.
“We are attending a report of a hostage situation in a local bank.” confirmed the officer in charge of the armed police at the scene.
“I am hoping for a peaceful resolution, but the suspect is definitely standing less than two metres away from the man whose head he is holding a gun to. If he continues to refuse to cooperate we will issue a £100 fine for not adhering to social distancing rules.”