OFFICIALS in the German capital Berlin have made wearing gimp masks mandatory for anyone entering the city due to Coronavirus.
“We thought we’d combine our cultural interests of strict regimental hygiene and sexual humiliation” said city mayor Bastian Wagerhorn.
“The latex hoods not only protect wearers from infection, but also remind them they’re a worthless piece of fu*k-meat. It’s a win win”
Epidemiologist Helmut Stein said, “While there’s no evidence to suggest gimp masks prevent either infection or transmission of the virus, they do dramatically lower the fatality rate as most gimps are tied up or handcuffed in the safety of their sex dungeon”.
It remains to be seen if chancellor and famous dominatrix Angela Merkel will implement the policy across the whole of Germany, with analysts pointing out she may be too busy fu**ing the UK in Brexit negotiations to bother.