Boris Johnson commits to using dictionary to look up “World Beating”

Screenshot 2020-08-07 at 14.33.42

Confusion reigned supreme earlier today when a reporter pointed out to Boris Johnson that ‘World Beating’ does not mean ‘underwhelming’. Mr Johnson looked confused for a few moments and then responded, “I went to Eton so I know you are wrong.”

Dominic Raab, Michael Gove and Liz Truss all defended the Prime Minister’s position on World Beating, and a short while later a statement came from Downing Street which clarified the position:

“World Beating means World Beating. All things set in motion by this World Beating government are World Beating. A World Beating track and trace system with a World Beating app to support World Beating containment of Covid-19 through World beating testing following World Beating following of the science.”

Jacob Rees-Mogg later confirmed that all things Britain has ever done are now to be referred to as World Beating. “I think that if you examine the facts closely, we have delivered a World Beating Brexit, and the Titanic’s maiden voyage has been reclassified as a World Beating project to scatter wealth on the bed of the Atlantic Ocean.”

 

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2020 by

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