The National Rifle Association today announced ‘a big step forward’ after taking its first steps into the world of the arts.
‘The MSM like to paint us a bunch of tiny penised, inbred hicks with an almost sexual fetish for high calibre weaponry’ commented NRA president Wayne LaPierre at a press conference today, ‘And of course, they’re right. But that doesn’t mean that we’re not also complicated emotional beings who sometimes need to express our creative selves through poetry, sculpture and avant-garde, contemporary dance.
Cleetus Hawkins, who organised the event in his hometown of Lobotomy, Arkansas was delighted with how things went. ‘What a night! Together we explored so many themes like love, grief, hooters and the enduring futility of our mutual existence.
One member delivered a particularly stirring clerihew about the deep emotional complexity of reducing a raccoon to smouldering, bloody carcass in a hail of machine gun fire. That one really took the roof off, although maybe that was because he kept shooting his rifle in the air in triumph at the end.’
Asked whether this might see the start of the NRA taking a more progressive stance on gun rights and other social issues Hawkins commented, ‘Of course not. Now get off my farm before I blast you into next week you ugly, commie homo!’