Thighland will provide busy executives with stress-relieving exercises in a private environment, possibly in Italy where the age of sexual consent is ‘so much nicer’, according to a spokesman. Other ‘high toned’ recreation facilities are also in the pipeline, including ‘Tits & Ass World’, featuring the Pussy Grabber ride.
President Trump does sometimes make pronunciation errors, though he recently pronounced Ghislaine perfectly, a feat which few 8 year-olds could manage. ‘My reading age is big’, the President told journalists. ‘Bigglier than any of you can imagine. What would you know? You’re the fake news media, always printing lies. So sad.’ It is not yet clear what will happen Ms Maxwell in custody but it is understood Mr. Trump will need some help with the suicide note.
‘Who doesn’t love thighs?’ said the spokesman. ‘President Trump has picked ‘Stairway to Heaven’ as Thighland’s theme tune. He’s a real hands-on owner, he’s been involved in all the minor details – like which minors we should hire. As I say, real small hands-on.’