White House searching for orange mountain range for Trump face carving

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After initially denying that he wanted his face to be carved into Mount Rushmore, White House officials have been tasked with finding either a bright orange mountain, or preferably one made of solid gold – ‘to go with the bathroom’, so that President Trump’s beautiful face can be preserved for posterity.

‘I want teenage girls to see this face looming over them for years to come’, he told White House aides, as they hunted for Big Rock Candy-Assed Mountain.  ‘It will be like I never died.  Hey, do you think there could be some kind of robotic arm, you know, to grab their pussies?’

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2020 by

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