The Queen’s husband, President of the Royal Xenophobic Society and almost dead, Prince Philip, has said he is looking forward to bagging some ghastly Scousers this week. A Palace Spokesperson said the Prince had been ordering the servants to polish his 12-bores and stock up on specially imported Syrian barrel bombs.
‘Scousers are, of course, perfect cannon fodder for Prince Philip. Whenever he hears a Scouse accent on the telly, veins pop on his forehead, and he usually punches the nearest footman. He blames Liverpudlians for the sinking of the Lusitania, Yoko Ono and the Abdication.
We must never forget that this is a race of people who always vote communist, whose football supporters fired rockets at the landmark Liver building and are suspected of being militant Lily Savage sympathisers. Frankly, they must be wiped off the face of the earth, and Prince Philip sees it as his patriotic duty to do his bit and help keep the breeding numbers down.’