A level student on live TV tells everyone to ‘F**k off’

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A bright spark at BBC Breakfast who decided broadcasting students live as they opened their exam results was distinctive and original journalism, has been left shocked after one A level recipient told viewers to ‘f**k off and die’.

Despite it being the six thousandth time this tired manufactured process has been carried out, BBC bosses thought they’d do exactly the same as every other year. But to the delight of viewers, one recipient didn’t get the straight A’s that those chosen to monosyllabically drone down the lens usually receive.

‘F**k this sh*t,’ screamed Darren Davies while walking menacingly towards the reporter. ‘I’m not there with an iphone when you’re opening your IVF results’.

Despite the palpable disappointment Mr Davies for his three U Grades, he should not have been alarmed as his grades were immediately raised to straight A’s under the government’s ‘triple lock’ or ‘leveling up’ or ‘ramping up’ or insert catchy Cummings’ slogan here, scheme.

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2020 by

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