The media industry is in crisis today as hundreds of journalists have taken to small boats and are determinedly crossing the English Channel in search of asylum in a better country.
One migrant who arrived on the Kent coast this morning reported that they spoke briefly to a journalist heading in the other direction. ‘I asked him where he was from – he shouted that he was fleeing from a place called Dailyexpress in search of a new life free from repression and statins. He looked so sad, there was nothing behind his eyes. I fear for him and wonder what he has been through. I have only fled from war torn Syria and at least I have never had to find a new story about Princess Diana.’
Home Secretary Priti Patel expressed her disappointment at the news. ‘I am sad to hear that there are no journalists from the Guardian leaving the country, though of course we will do our best to repatriate any journalists who may be escaping from their contracts with Tory Party doners’.