Unable to find any direct evidence of Russian election tampering, the UK’s Intelligence Community said they needed extra time and resources in order to make some up. Logically, the only way to ensure other countries do not rig our elections, is for us to do it first.
MI6 said they were committed to ending all Russian interference, except when it comes to Chelsea FC. They also said they will continue to fund fake charities, whose sole purpose is subverting democracy – although drew the line at Comic Relief.
One British Spy remarked: ‘Yes, I know the US Secretary of State boasted that America interfered in our 2019 election, but that’s okay. We asked them to’.