The nation is said to be “nervous” after it was revealed earlier today that the prospect of driverless cars on our roads might just be a reality within a year, and the man picked to oversee it for the government is Chris Grayling.
Speaking from a secret hide-out Boris Johnson said, ‘We’ve had a few cock-ups of late so that’s why I’m putting this highly important matter in the hands of one of our very best men.’
But not everyone shares the nation’s sense of unease. One staunch government supporter who will believe any old nonsense, Wayne Topper, commented: ‘What a fantastic choice. Who better than Chris? His track record in getting a job done, and done well, is amazing. Let’s face it he has the Midas touch and that’s what’s wanted here. We can’t afford to get this one wrong.’
However the country’s motoring organisations acted with total unanimity upon hearing the news. A spokesman for the Association of British Motorists said: ‘Fucking hell, you’re kidding me, aren’t you? Please say you are. This is some kind of wind-up, right?’
Meanwhile Mr Graying held a press conference earlier where he told the media: ‘I know quite a lot about cars. It may surprise you all to learn I actually have one myself.’
‘As a matter of fact I fully intend to start driving it around everywhere just as soon as I receive my Provisional licence.’