White House assistant cleaner Nancy Betts last night lost her record of being the only member of Donald Trump’s staff not to be arrested on federal charges.
Mrs Betts, whose main role is to scrape the spray tan off the Oval Office desk after the President has his mid-morning snoozey snooze, was indicted yesterday over a number of outstanding library fines.
The White House has played down the news though, with Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany, who amazingly still sleeps at night, explaining ‘Just because the President directly employed, and relies extensively on all these criminals every waking second of his day does not mean he is in any way close to them.’
‘In fact this clearly just a fake news plot to distract from the incredible corruption of the Obama administration. Yes all the President’s staff may have been charged and imprisoned for actual crimes, but the crimes committed by Obama and Hillary are completely made-up, and in the President’s mind that’s much more important’
Ms McEnany did however admit that Trump had considered offering Mrs Betts a presidential pardon. But as none of her overdue books were ‘The Art of the Deal’ he has decided that ‘the bitch can rot in jail instead.’