Clegg dragged kicking and screaming from first all-Tory cabinet meeting


Former Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg had to be forcibly removed from the first cabinet of the new Conservative government after the meeting was disrupted in the first few minutes.

‘The meeting had just got underway,’ said new Business Secretary Sajid Javid. ‘David was commenting how it felt a bit more cramped than usual when he broke off mid-sentence and said “Nick, what the hell are you doing here?” We all followed his gaze and there was Nick Clegg sitting at the far end looking a bit glum. There was stunned silence for a few moments until Priti Patel muttered ‘Awk-ward’.

Security staff eventually were called and manhandled the former LibDem leader toward the door where he dug his nails into the frame and shouted “You can’t do this without me, you know that!” We he was finally gone the Prime Minster just shook his head and with a sigh and said; ‘needy bastard’.

‘Everyone was a bit shaken and David looked genuinely upset,’ continued Javid. ‘But then George Osborne said “has anyone checked under the table for ginger rodents?” and we all pissed ourselves laughing.’

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2020 by

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