Davey resigns Lib Dem leadership


In a statement this afternoon sure to shock the UK Parliament to its branches; Sir Ed Davey, the newly-elected leader of the Liberal Democrats, un-dramatically resigned after four hours in charge.

Sir Ed thanked the dozens of members who voted for him, giving him a comfortable margin of victory over his rival Layla Moran. He said that after tidying the Lib Dem kitchen in Westminster, doing some light filing, and polishing the nameplates of all 11 MP’s office doors, he felt left the party in a considerably better state than he found it when he took charge and that he’d taken it as far as his leadership could achieve.

After several months of choosing a leader, only to have him fail to last longer than a trip to the cinema, the Liberal Democrats central office has decided the party will now be run along the lines of an anarcho-syndicalist commune; with each MP taking turns to act as a sort-of executive-officer-for-the-week, decisions ratified at a bi-weekly meeting, by a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs, but by a two-thirds majority, in the case of more major items.

When noted that this is the system used by the peasants in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, a spokesperson for the party stated, “Yes, well now we’re a bit of a joke, we thought our administration may as well be based off one.”

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2020 by

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