Huge blow: Polish police smash elephant drug ring at Warsaw Zoo


At first, police were dumbfounded when Poland’s entire stock of high-grade marijuana disappeared. But a tip-off led them to Warsaw Zoo, where they were able to pursue enquiries.

Head keeper at the zoo, Krzysztof Gajewski, said, “There was suspicious behaviour in the elephant house. It was centred around our largest bull. We call him Donald Tusk.”

“We knew there was something wrong when Donald started to forget things. Then I woke up with my nose touching the ceiling. We lost him for a bit. He painted his toenails red and hid in a cherry tree. And there was evidence he had been in the fridge. Man, he was higher than Dumbo on acid.”

“That wasn’t the worst of it, though. Let’s just say that no one stands in the way of an elephant with the munchies. But we have a much bigger problem now. Her name is Crack-cow.”

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Posted: Aug 30th, 2020 by

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