With local lockdowns looming across the country just as schools reopen, the shadowy Parents’ Liberation Front has issued a statement warning of the consequences if the government sends children back to ‘home school’ once again. [read...]
Feeling slightly sensitive that a lifetime of vagina grabbing and perfidious self-promotion might not be completely at ease with his conservative Christian support base, President Trump today announced and amended version of the Ten Commandments to try and keep both parties happy. [read...]
The Government has announced a series of new appointments based on the candidate selection process known as ‘Bloody Good Bloke’ Theory. According to the theory the most important quality in a candidate is how well they will get along with the current team. [read...]
Barclays’ business customers will now be able to log on by scanning the unique pattern of their veins; or as one banker described it as ‘…the fast track to their life essence’. Slumbering in their coffins by day, [read...]
Health service chiefs are celebrating A&E waiting times hitting target for the first time since the Crimea war, due to an impressive pincer strategy of requiring all attendees to ring NHS 111 before admission, while simultaneously deploying rogue software to block the digit 1 on all telephone keypads. [read...]
