The government has set out clear guidance that all groups of over 30 are forbidden, except not really. To halt the spread of Covid-19, everyone must stay in small bubbles, anywhere between 1 to 10,000, excluding days that end in Y. ‘It’s very simple,’ said Matt Hancock. ‘We must follow the strict rules, right up until it’s inconvenient or it involves poor people – then all bets are off’.
To keep class-sizes down, primary schools are recommended to only count children over six feet tall. Secondary schools are advised to only record students who are parents themselves and sixth form colleges are told to just list them all as staff. MPs have struggled the most with keeping to small groups, not among themselves, but with the large number of lobbyists and pretty interns they need. Complained on Tory MP: ‘Only 30? How am I going to get my butlers and groundskeepers all in the same room?’