He has no friends
He is part of a death cult
He is tired of being naked from the waist down in online meetings
He has shares in Pret a Manger
He is bored of talking to his butler
He lost all the furlough cash in Las Vegas
Knowing you spend 20% of your salary on train fares gives him an erection
He is secretly having an affair with your partner and needs you out of the house
He can’t operate zoom without a dozen IT technicians
All coronavirus deaths are tax-deductible
Even though the work appears to be getting done despite the circumstances, you are all a bunch of workshy scroungers who need to be watched like a hawk at all times
No-one seems to be using the WhatsApp group he set up for the whole department
Maureen is still on furlough and frankly, there is no-one else available for a post-Powerpoint hand job
The three dead bodies in the meeting room following Ron’s somewhat hasty decision to run through the second quarter’s results need moving, if you wouldn’t mind
After months not driving anywhere and thus unable to put through inflated expense claims, Senior Sales Guru Beamish is threatening to throw himself out the seventh storey window and someone needs to man the mop and bucket in case things go a bit south
To remind himself what you look like
For a valid sample size on whether his cock looks meatier in these tight trousers
To look down her nose at you pathetic minions for not having a new Porsche Cayenne
His PA has gone on maternity leave, and you’ll do
He wants to sack you face-to-face so he can see you cry like the pathetic piece of shit you are
Hat tips Midfield Diamond, Steve B, Sinnick, oshaughnessy
