This year’s series of The Apprentice has been postponed because of an unprecedented shortage of massive bellends, the BBC has said.
The show has aired every year since 2005, giving viewers the chance to marvel at the strange language and behaviour of some of the nation’s biggest bellends.
It also provides a platform for Alan Sugar to pretend to be more successful than he is, and to woodenly deliver scripted put downs that aren’t as funny or clever as he thinks.
“We have never had a problem filling the show with egotistical, self-promoting bellends before. I mean as well as Lord Sugar. But this year seems to be different for some reason.” said a BBC spokesperson
“It appears that the majority of Britain’s bellends are otherwise engaged right now and not available for filming. We think they might be at the beach, getting drunk and fighting with each other. Or working as special advisers to the Prime Minister.
“The extra time to prepare for the new series will give us chance to find some really massive bellends.” continued the spokesperson.
“With a bit of luck that floppy haired chap from Downing Street might be free by then.”