As people report having to travel further and further each day in order to take a Coronavirus test, the government is spending £15m on radio ads reminding those returning to the UK from their nearest test centre that they will have to quarantine for two weeks.
“After a long search on the official gov.uk site, I was told the nearest test centre was in Marseilles in the south of France”, one potential sickie said. “I found myself starting to warm to Boris Johnson which my wife pointed out was a severe lack of taste. So we took to 1,500 mile round trip there using the Eurotunnel and took our test in a car park that was also hosting a Gilets Jaunse protest.”
After using their fog lights to drive through the tear gas, they were able to take a test and had a negative result by the time they arrived back in Calais.
“We were so relieved as I can’t afford to self isolate for 7 days if I had Coronavirus”, he continued, “so I’ll be straight back to work the minute we finish our 14-day quarantine”