Baroness Harding Tells Committee, “No One Could Have Predicted That Sunrise.”

sunrise

“Last night, when that big orangey-yellow light disappeared, that seemed to be it. It was all over. There would be no more light. No-one could reasonably have predicted that it would re-appear several hours later. And behind us! How could we have foreseen that?”

“But surely, Baroness, the re-appearance had also happened that very morning? Did that not suggest a similar cycle might occur?”

“Oh, Mr Chairman, that last re-occurence was a whole day ago. There is absolutely no way, given current technology, of capturing data that varies so subtly over such an extended period of time. We were following The Science. The so-called ‘sunset’ gave every indication of being an end. ”

“Once again, Baroness, I suggest to you that far from being ‘subtle’ the change in question extends from Stygian gloom and darkness at one extreme to a perfusion of alarmingly bright retina-damaging radiation at the other? This does not require specialist equipment, instruments or technology to detect. And the ‘extended period of time’ to which you refer is key to this issue. The sun has indeed been observed to rise every single day since the origins of recorded history. This is even longer than the Conservative Party has been in power. And finally, as for ‘following The Science’, I believe we would do well to follow the current Italian theories on this matter. A signore Galilei has suggested that this phenomenon is not only predictable but may indeed be used to establish a system of global time-keeping.”

“The Government took the best possible advice. And at no point did anyone suggest that a re-occurrence was even possible, far less likely, far less inevitable. We are well equipped with testing and tracking programmes to see what happens this evening. Should the sun again disappear, we are confident that we will detect this promptly. However, Mr Chairman, asking anyone to confirm whether it may again rise, from which position, and to what height is not reasonable. All we can do is be prepared to react if it does. And now if you’ll excuse me, I have other pressing matters to attend to. “

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Posted: Sep 21st, 2020 by

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