As the last Europe versus US Ryder Cup gets underway, golf’s hierarchy are planning the next tournament to feature Europe versus US versus Brexit UK. Players that were once European fairway comrades will be forced into mortal combat against each other, or to at least get a ball into a hole in less shots.
Due to be played in the US in 2020, the next Ryder Cup will feature a post-Brexit UK team, known as Blighty, dressed in morning suits and top hats using upside down umbrellas as clubs. The winner of the tournament will host the following Ryder Cup on their home soil.
Lead singer of the Happy Mondays, Shaun Ryder, who instigated the tournament whilst on tour in the US by offering grunge bands Nirvana and Pearl Jam a fight on a golf course to see who was ‘Cock of music’, has spoken in an interview of his earnest desire for Europe to retain his trophy against the US, ‘They better f***ing had do, don’t make me and Bez go down there and do it again. F***ing Yanks do my f***ing nut in!’