North Korean leader, Kim Jong-Un is said to be outraged at the latest round of UN sanctions which includes a complete ban on the import of garden gnomes, requested by US President Donald Trump in New York today.
Reportedly an avid collector of gnomes, it is feared that the Dictator, after Dobbies Garden Centre, has cornered the World’s garden gnome market. However, with UN inspectors being denied access to the region, independent verification has prove impossible.
Tens of thousands of troops are now expected to fill Kim Il-sung Square on Saturday with a display of the biggest garden gnomes that North Korea can muster. The enormous Gnome Parade will showcase the isolated nation’s defiance as President Donald Trump harnesses his own collection of garden gnomes at Trump properties throughout the world. Trump will call upon all US allies to do the same.
South Korean media sources say that Pyongyang has warned it is prepared to take the toughest action unless the US ends its garden gnome hysteria, with speculation that the North Korean leader is preparing to put his own favourite gnome, Mr Big Ears into orbit in the general direction of Disney World, Florida.
President Trump has now fired back with a ferocious Twitter storm saying, “Let him bring it on. We are not scared of Mr Big Ears. No way. Billy Bob Baggy-Pants is ten times bigger and much tougher and will kick his house down.”
In the meantime, the President has been busy requisitioning wishing wells, fishing rods and ornamental toadstools from his base supporters in preparation for an all-out strike against Pyongyang.
“It’s time to get serious.” he told the UN Security Council.