The National Trust is to open Ann Widdecombe’s house to visitors, as part of a move to be ‘open and honest’ about properties with ‘links to outdated practices and beliefs we now consider abhorrent’.
Revealing how 93 of its properties have connections to slavery, colonialism and subjugation, the Trust insisted it was simply trying to accurately reflect history, not cast judgement. However, high on the thrill of washing historical icons’ dirty linen in public, it started a programme of adding controversial modern-day domiciles to its portfolio, beginning with Ms. Widdecombe’s Dartmoor home, Never Dun Shrillin’.
“It’s very exciting,” said a spokesperson. “Visitors will be able to sit at the very desk where Ann, in a SKY News interview, enthusiastically endorsed gay ‘conversion therapy’, or see the bed where she slept peacefully after recommending shackling pregnant prisoners in chains up to the start of labour.”
The gift shop will feature a specially engineered floor, revolving to the strains of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy every quarter-hour (GMT), and stock framed extracts from Hansard, commemorating Widdecombe’s voting against the ordination of women priests, equalising the age of consent, civil partnerships, and the repeal of Section 28.
Other properties reportedly under consideration include Dominic Cummings’ lair, Katie Hopkins’ dungeon, and the editorial offices of the Daily Mail. Never Dun Shrillin’ itself almost failed the stringent selection process, when research revealed Widdecombe warned against Boris Johnson as Prime Minister as long ago as 2013.
However the spokesperson reassured: “Such fleeting slivers of good judgement pale beside the horrors she inflicted on an unsuspecting public during appearances on Celebrity Big Brother and Strictly Come Dancing, crimes which the new-look National Trust is unafraid to face head-on.”
[Hat tip to MaxPower]