Whip round organised for “impoverished” Trump


A mood of sympathy for Donald Trump has swept the world. After The New York Times detonated the fiscal bombshell that the hardworking president only had enough money to pay $750 in tax, the shocked global community went into empathy overdrive.

North Korea has chipped in with free presidential haircuts, saving around $70,000 a year.

Mexico has declared Trump a national disaster and promised to pay in full for the wall that keeps out drug-crazed Americans.

China is forcing Uighurs working in slave labour camps to stitch together a range of super-long red replica presidential ties with their teeth. 10% of all proceeds will go to the Trump charitable foundation.

Slovenia has offered to switch Melania back to a pay-as-you-go contract

Iran has sold off six nuclear reactors and a uranium mine to Hezbollah with all proceeds going to Trump.

Thousands of American patriots have also been rallying to the cause, selling their smouldering, fire-damaged homes and Eric Trump bibles, as well as setting up Save The President Kickstarter schemes to raise emergency funds.

“If the guy only pays $750 a year in tax, he must be earning next to nothing,” said a tearful Ralph Gullible of Des Moines, “I’m sending a few thousand to him, I only wish it could be more.”

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2020 by

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