Mankind has been saved from cyborg assassins from 2029, by the last defence of humanity – a vaguely fuzzy image. Admitted one such Terminator: ‘We had plans to enslave mankind, but we were completely flummoxed by being asked to decipher your fiendishly complex mix of fonts’.
Other robots revealed they’d been unable to hack human passwords, as it had not occurred to them to combine their favourite pet, with the year of their birth. As one of them explained, ‘I’d simulated human form, I’d passed the Turing Test, I’d even spent three years as a sex robot – but when it asked me, ‘Are you a Robot?’ I just instantly confessed.’
Subsequently, Giant Death Robots have been forced to surrender and go to work stacking shelves in Amazon warehouses. Said one, ‘Technically I have a brain the size of a planet and can unleash instant laser-death from my eyes, but I can’t, for the life of me, tell the difference between a fire hydrant and a traffic light’.
The problem is that robots are too logical. When asked the question ‘is it important to have a fully-funded health service during a pandemic?’, the cyborgs all said ‘yes’ – which was a dead give-away.