The White House has confirmed that a TV studio debate hosted by a professional presenter isn’t conducive to adult exchanges of opinion. ‘He had chewing gum and didn’t share it,’ said Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden about his sparring partner Donald Trump. ‘I did too,’ claimed the current President of the United States. ‘I told him I’d saved some on the sole of my shoe, but he didn’t want any.’
It is hoped that in the second debate, the level of maturity of exchange will increase. Both contenders have now agreed to meet up on a see-saw in the playground instead. ‘If he kicks me in the butt when the cameras aren’t looking again I’ll pull his hair real hard,’ said Joe, pointing at the sky and picking his nose while the cameras were following his arm. Unfortunately for Joe he was spotted flicking a solid ball of snot at Donald and was made to stand in the corner for sixty seconds.
The first debate was called off when Donald Trump broke the coronavirus safety protocols and back-slapped Mr Biden. ‘OK, I get it, no coming within two metres of each other, whatever they are,’ said the President, smirking while Joe left the stage with a ‘kick me’ notice stuck to his back with chewing gum. As Mr Trump turned to leave, a sheet of paper affixed with snot flapped on his back with an even more ridiculous statement on it. ‘Hey, has anyone seen my tax return anywhere?’ asked the President as he left the studio.