The treatment of Donald Trump has become as chaotic as his admission, after Mark Meadows, the White House Chief of Star rushed the President’s hair to a different hospital.
“His hair has its own health insurance policy; $100,000 a year is spent with Trump Insurance Inc to maintain his hair, it’s a very smart tax, err…, I mean, it’s routine” Meadows explained. “In any case, it turns out that the insurance for Mr Trump’s body can’t cover his hair. Just as his hair can’t quite cover his head, so his hair has to be treated separately.”
The President and the hair have recently been reported to be spending less and less time together, and it may be that they were sleeping in different parts of the White House when the virus struck. “Recent photographs show the President’s hair being keen to distance itself from Donald Trump, and refusing just to lie down and do whatever Potus wanted” said one insider. “It may be that the hair has had enough and wants out.”
Mr Trump is being treated in Walter Reed hospital, after a brief stop at the Friendship Hospital For Animals due to a “satnav error”. His hair is being treated at the Washington Medical Hair Clinic where it has been given a saucer of milk and a nice cushion to sleep on.