Doctors and midwives have had to admit that an administrative error has caused a huge underestimate of the number of babies fathered by the Prime Minister. ‘This mistake comes from using Microsoft Excel and no contraception’ commented one doctor at Westminster Hospital’s maternity unit. ‘The health service is overwhelmed right now, we have been struggling to cope with the number of babies being delivered in maternity wards within a five mile radius of Downing Street.’
Previously the number of children fathered by Boris Johnson was believed to be five or six, but most experts were convinced it was a lot higher than the statistics coming out of Whitehall. Any posh Conservative ladies in the London area who are unsure of the parentage of their babies are advised to get a test as soon as possible.