Westminster has been thrown into confusion as Dominic Raab appears to have realised that China’s imprisonment, brutalisation, and forced sterilisation of Uighur Muslims is Not Quite Cricket.
And his tough-talking response is sure to hit the repressive regime where it hurts: threatening to deny it the pleasure of seeing four hapless British sports science graduates claim 16th position in the winter Olympics’ skeleton bob heats.
Dominic ‘I’m Spartacus’ Raab is now residing in a safe-house, hiding from Downing Street repercussions for appearing to take a vaguely moral stand. A disbelieving observer said; “I know the earth’s magnetic poles are overdue to switch places, but I never expected such a titanic shift from a government minister, hinting at a whisper of almost, yet still unsubstantiated, honourable principles. Surely ‘tis the End of Days.
“Who knows; in these strange times, perhaps Oliver Dowden may yet grow a backbone, Priti Patel a morsel of empathy, Matt Hancock a personality- at least one that does more than broadcast ‘KICK ME!’- and Robert Jenrick- no, let’s not get too fanciful.”