Relief sweeps world as billionaires fortunes reach record high

Screenshot 2020-10-08 at 14.32.00

A feeling of warm relief has gone around the globe as Swiss Bank UBS has reported that the world’s billionaires fortunes have increased by nearly 27% since the pandemic started.

“That’s a load off my mind”, said ex-shop manager, Sally Jarvis of Blackpool. “I’d been feeling a bit cheesed-off, what with losing my job, catching Covid and infecting the family. But finding out that Jeff Bezos is 40% richer has really cheered me up.”

Richard Branson declined to comment on his personal wealth increasing by ¬£500M, saying; “If you don’t mind, I’m trying to think of a way to find money to pay employees who can’t work. ”

Ms Jarvis has since followed Chancellor Rishi Sunak’s advice and is¬†retraining as a homeless beggar.

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2020 by

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