MP’s on both sides of the house were shocked to find that following this mornings unveiling ceremony, the impressive memorial to ministerial incompetence has been built in the wrong place. Instead of just outside Parliament in Victoria Tower Gardens it’s been erected in an industrial estate in East London.
The £36bn memorial celebrates the contribution of clinically clueless ministers who have successfully turned ‘fiasco’ into the new normal. It features 23 bronze ramps celebrating incompetence over PPE and a queue of gold-leafed hauliers trucks queuing at a marble Dover customs post, to reflect spirit-crushing incompetence over Brexit. An additional highlight is the crowd of life-sized alabaster statues of students visibly weeping over their exam results while being intravenously fed raw sewage.
The Prime Minister, in time-honoured tradition, sulkily refused to answer any direct questions in Parliament. He did, however, say that this will not happen when he builds a high-speed Jerusalem because Mr Jenrick has already dished out the contracts to some friends of his. Sir Kier Starmer said: ‘The Prime Minister and myself would get along a lot better if he admitted to yet another abject shambles. Now we’re going to have to spend a fortune digging it up and building a National Fiasco Memorial to the National Fiasco Memorial.’