Apple’s new iPhone is entirely imaginary, it can be revealed.
Appearing as a theoretical emoji at the world’s first metaphysical launch event, CEO Tim Cook silently drew a representation of his wallet with an esoteric air-gesture as the souls of Apple fans spiralled down an invisible vortex into a giant, Scrooge McDuck-like money bin.
‘The headphone is a lie,’ echoed a monotone, disembodied voice beamed directly into the minds of the faithful. ‘Sound is nothing more than an echo of truth. Send me your bank details’.
The iPhone 12 retails at £799 and is simply a mimed box containing nothing but a slowly fading whisper of an idea. The iPhone 12 Pro costs more and doesn’t come with the box.