Millions meant for Covid Marshals wasted on large Bat-Signal

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Reports suggest that local councils have squandered cash for policing Coronavirus on a huge bat signal, all because of rumours that ‘bats started the virus in the first place’. They had toyed with the idea of a distress beacon depicting a Chinese bio-chemical weapons lab, but in the end every felt more comfortable blaming the bats.

Technically the Marshals will have no powers to enforce the law, but they will be able to ask the Avengers to Assemble – as long as they are in groups of six or less. The only super-power they will have, is the ability to squirt hand-sanitizer from a tube concealed in their shirt sleeve.

Every Marshall will be permitted one arch-nemesis, but only if they are from the same household. Explained one potential vigilante: ‘I did have a side-kick but he’s self-isolating at the moment. It turns out spandex leggings are no substitute for a good mask’.

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Posted: Oct 17th, 2020 by

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