In a modern day take on Romeo and Juliet, star crossed lovers Gemima and Gary have found them separated not by decades of bitter family rivalries like the Capulet and Montagues but by artificially imposed divisions that mean their relationship is bound to end in tiers. Although separated by a distance of 40 or so miles, a barrier that is easily overcome via a short train journey, today they woke up to find themselves in different tiers which means they are physically unable to meet up. Not even for Christmas. Perhaps not forever.
Speaking from a leafy village just outside Oswestry Gemima revealed, ‘We met in the most romantic way via Tinder and it was love at first swipe. We are like interlocking jigsaw pieces that were meant to be together. But now I have discovered that we are separated not just by one tier, but by two. Apparently, I am in Tier one which according to Papa says is called ‘Upper Class’ whereas my beloved Gary is in Tier Three, which I am reliably informed is called ‘Commoners’. Mama has told me repeatedly that meetings across the tiers is forbidden. She tells me to forget Gary and find a boy within my own tier from whom I can acceptably socially distance. But this is love we are talking about!’
Texting a response from his total lockdown flat in Birkenhead, Gary reluctantly agreed: ‘I thought it might be possible for a pariah like me to end up with a princess like her but no. I can’t even meet up with me Nan and she’s in the same social outcast tier as me. So what hope is there of ever being with Grace? You see this kind of romance in films like Titanic but it looks like our relationships been sunk too. And I didn’t even get to draw a picture of her with her kit off!’