Keir Starmer warns of safety issues aboard the Titanic


There is a growing perception that ‘Sir Keith’ is wise after the event but relatively clueless during it; which is not helped by the fact that he has spent the last few months of a global pandemic, warning about the Fall of Rome.  Although, his campaign has embraced this, with the motto ‘Better to be Captain Hindsight than Major Fuckwit’.

Frustratingly the current Leader of the Opposition has provided belated advice that JFK should duck, Pudding Lane needs a sprinkler system and that the people of Atlantis should invest in flood insurance. His main skill seems to be telling people not to anger Genghis Kahn and encouraging Adolph Hitler to stick with the art classes.

Fears are that he is so later to join the party, that by the time he turns up, everyone has gone home, leaving him with the washing up.  His main policy initiatives have been to tell Abraham Lincoln to give his theatre tickets to someone else and to advise the dinosaurs ‘wrap up warm’.

Providing opposition after it is too late, is essentially like telling NASA in 2020 that they should delay the Space Shuttle Challenger.  Asked if he thought Starmer’s ultra-Remain stance in 2019 had cost Labour votes with Brexit supporters, a spokesman said: ‘No, no one could have predicted that’.

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Posted: Oct 18th, 2020 by

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