As mid-October heralds Peak Passive-Aggressive Homemade Jam Gifting season, desperate millions are petitioning the government to move their local area up to Tier 3: “preserve-toting relatives may be shot on sight”. ‘My aunt just phoned to say she was on her way over with ‘a little something,’ [read...]
In what is described by some as a desperate bid to do something, Boris Johnson has made it mandatory for all Zoom meetings with more than 5 people for all participants to wear face coverings. [read...]
There is a growing suspicion amongst those who have never been north of the Watford gap, that Covid hotspots are caused by unsanitary Geordies and Liverpudlians who take baths with their pit pony. Explained one scientist: ‘There is no data whatsoever to suggest the North of England is less clean then the rest, [read...]
Southern Electric (SE) have discovered that tens of millions of people have been deliberately hiding their skills and thus avoiding peak-rate electricity bills. By concealing their light under a rudimentary bowl, artists have avoided utility payments; [read...]
