Whilst Manchester United star Marcus Rashford has been complaining about youngsters being denied free school meals, a group of dinner ladies from Our Souls College in Stretford has expressed its delight at being asked to play for Manchester United.
‘We know Marcus is too busy arguing with the government over free baked potatoes, so we offered to step-in to help’ said Eileen Derby from Stockport who’s been drafted in by manager Ole Gunnar Solskjær to replace the star forward.
In addition it’s understood Manchester United’s first eleven will now include additional ‘resources’ to support the team’s line-up including:
Nitty Nora the bug explorer – her role will widen to Covid testing and advanced dandruff detection
Custard Kitty – she can make seven gallons of Bird’s finest and this will sure to unfoot strikers hovering around United’s goal posts
Tapioca Tammy – an expert in deploying tons of gunge in midfield to clag opposing strikers’ legs
The new Manchester United team is looking forward to its first run out against Chelsea at Old Trafford this weekend.