‘Wot? Wasn’t Me, I’ve Not Changed’ insists virus


The SARS-CoV-2 virus today spoke out about accusations that it’s to blame for the recent rise in cases of the Covid-19 disease.

‘Nah, mate. You’ve got it all wrong. You look back to where your graph was in June, right? It was low and flat, innit? But even then I was like doin’ me nut trying to beat them humans. But they was behaving themselves and I couldn’t get no breakthrough, right?’

‘But now, look at your graph stuff today. Whoosh! It’s gone shooting up. But the thing is, I’m not like trying no harder. I can’t can I? I’ve only got the one way of working. And I’ve been doing that since I arrived.

‘So, all them new cases, right, they’re not on my shoulders. Something else has changed. And I think it’s all you stupid humans. You’re what’s changed. You’re the ones what have gone about with no masks, and getting pissed, and not observing rules and regs.’

‘All right, I might not be everyone’s idea of a best friend, but at least you know what you’re getting with me and I don’t go changing my mind all the time. Fair’s fair, innit?”

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Posted: Oct 22nd, 2020 by

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