After accusing his negotiating team of intransigence, Boris Johnson has explained how he rejected a Norwegian style Brexit, in favour of adopting an Australian rules Brexit.
“Adopting the Norwegian model would have meant demolishing Newcastle and replacing it with a full-sized Scandinavian Fjord. Our only choice, under the circumstances, is to go down the Australian route.
Sadly, this will mean forcing our beloved indigenous cockney people from their adopted tribal homelands and dynamiting the sacred burial sites of their ancestors and their ancestor’s ancestors. We are of course working closely with the cockney leaders, and they are more than happy to go along with everything the big white chief says including massacres, removal of their urchins and lengthy jail time for their half-naked women folk.”
Above the Gerty Gussett Pie and Mash Shop in London’s East End a meeting of tribal leaders was called to organise the cockneys into a movement of civil disobedience.
Pearly Queen, Ruby Murray, made a rousing speech saying, ‘That ‘Dodgy Florist,’ (as they call Boris), is telling porky pies. He ain’t picked up the dog and bone to have a rabbit with any of us. What does he think is going to happen to all the Cor Blimey Trouser shops when we’re all gone? That’s why we got no choice but to stage a mass Lambeth Walk on Parliament.’