Chancellor announces comprehensive support measures for Robert Jenrick


Chancellor Rishi Sunak has announced a long-awaited series of measures designed to financially support Robert Jenrick, Minister for Favourable Building Regulations for Conservative Party Donors. Jenrick has suffered a series of outgoings that has left his department lacking in the necessary funds to benefit his own constituency over more deprived areas. ‘We were staring down the barrel,’ admitted Max Highborn, Jenrick’s adviser. ‘£25 million for a town the size of Newark is peanuts. Three Banksys – gone!’

‘The Chancellor’s measures ensure that 40%, rather than 20%, of Mr Jenrick’s business partnerships will receive favourable planning regulation approvals. Thus generating generous party donations. It’s the circle of economic life, and it should be rewarded. When Marcus Rashford had a bill voted down in parliament purporting to benefit individuals he has no personal knowledge of, yet Robert Jenrick consistently guarantees support for acquaintances who contribute vital donations to worthy party causes, it makes you question who really deserves an MBE.’

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Posted: Oct 27th, 2020 by

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