Rumours are spreading around Whitehall tonight that the Conservative government is about to privatise the Labour Party. The party has been in public hands since its creation in 1900 but, with morale at an all time low, Boris Johnson believes that now is the time for some serious investment.
Insiders claim that Labour has been deliberately underfunded and that
muppet puppet leaders have been put in place since 2009 to diminish its value in preparation for the sale. Stockbrokers are getting ready to make a killing, as the shares are priced at £1.50, or 30 pieces of silver in old money. The government has already appointed a PR company to advertise the shares with the slogan ‘If you see Jeremy, tell him’.